Leaving America Questionnaire #20
Fabienne Toback, award-winning filmmaker, 13th arrondissement
What drives Americans to leave home and settle elsewhere? That question has been on my mind for many years. This series, Leaving America, seeks to uncover the multitude of reasons and lessons learned—beginning with Americans in and around Paris. Become a paid subscriber to access this newsletter’s archives.
How many Americans could, legally, live abroad if they wanted to through ancestry or naturalization? A conservative estimate suggests that some 25 millions Americans hold dual nationality and could get on a plane, finances allowing, and live an entirely different life. An undetermined number of Americans are eligible for foreign citizenship but have not pursued it. Mine came through marriage (and many many years committed to France! And giving the state a lot of my money!) but today’s newsletter honoree, Fabienne Toback, was born with the potential for Swiss citizenship. And yet, while the award-winning filmmaker and producer of Netflix’s High on the Hog1could have moved abroad much earlier, she only made the jump two years ago— and to Paris.
Where was the last place you lived in the U.S.?
The Arts District in downtown Los Angeles.
Did you intend to leave permanently or was the move temporary?
Not initially. I knew I always wanted to live in Europe, but I didn’t know how or when it was going to come into being. My dual citizenship was an important factor in deciding to move here. Initially, I did not have the ability to be naturalized by Switzerland, rights were awarded only by patrilineal succession, but that changed in 1985. After 9/11 and the Bush administration, along with the invasion in Afghanistan, I could see the United States heading toward rapid change, and one that might require me to broaden my and my son’s geographic choices. I applied for my citizenship, which was a lengthy process and voila, my children and I had new options.
It truly is a gift that I am super grateful for; I wasn’t going to let it languish by living my entire life in the U.S.
Was there a pivotal moment when you knew your life would be best pursued elsewhere?
There wasn’t a pivotal moment per se, but I knew it was going to happen at some point in my life. It had been a desire since I worked at Columbia Pictures (while I worked there, we had a Paris office).
What sort of financial consideration did the move require, even if as a student initially? Does one need a plump savings account to make this work?
As a producer and creative consultant, my income is always a bit in flux. I had accumulated enough savings and, as a newly single person, was simultaneously being priced out of Los Angeles. Moving abroad is always a big leap, but I didn’t overthink it. My dual citizenship with Switzerland definitely made it a bit easier.
At what age did you leave? Looking back, was that too soon or too late?
Je ne regrette rien! I read somewhere recently that there are two things you can’t change or come back from: having kids and dying. Outside of being dead — in which case it would definitely be too late — I have a friend whose mother just moved to Portugal—she’s 80! Would you say that’s too late? Too late for what, at the end of the day?
When did you know you'd made the right [or wrong] call?
Moving is challenging; I also moved all my belongings. I don’t dwell on whether it was the right or wrong call. It’s done, and I embrace each day and look for the gifts that the move has given me.
What does Paris offer you that your native home couldn’t and, perhaps, still can’t?
The list is long. The city is so steeped in history, it’s palpable, but I’m sure you hear that all the time. I think in our globalized world there isn’t anything here or there that I couldn’t acquire. Gone are the days of getting that really special food item, or textile or trinket. What I get here is the intangible. I do feel a sense of belonging, even though Switzerland is far more familiar to me, I appreciate the seamless integration into the European culture; it wasn’t something I had to learn or become familiar with. That’s a nice thing. I am still working up my French, which has been a bit rusty for the past two decades. Sadly, I realize that I'm not quite as fluent as I thought, or could be if my partner spoke to me in French—that last 20% is a doozy, ça me casse!
Can you share any anecdotes about your highest and lowest moments in Paris?
Truly, what’s not to love (ah, the overcrowded metro on a rainy afternoon!)? I digress. Paris is truly a wonderful city. I’ve been here for just over two years and I’m still scratching the surface of what it has to offer. I quickly bought a bike when I moved here and, for me, that has been such a delight. You really grasp the size of Paris, it’s a small town compared to Los Angeles. To me, that’s part of its charm.
As for the lowest, and coming from California, you can guess, no big surprise, it’s the weather. Adjusting to the long gray winter. But to be honest, the weather would have been a challenge no matter where I moved outside of Los Angeles. Bitter cold was out of the question. Coming from LA, I realize that I’d been used to four to five months of summer, May to October, and then 80°+F / 27°C on random days sprinkled throughout the “winter.” It’s funny that I never thought the summers were short when I was a kid in New York. The winters in Paris are nothing like New York. Those winters were agonizing, and at the same time, it was all I knew. I guess it’s the same here in Paris; it is what it is at the end of the day.
Are there aspects of American life that you long for?
I visit enough to get my fix, but there are definitely things I miss, such as my community of friends. I have met some incredible and lovely people, but the deep friendships, those I have back in the U.S. And honestly, here, I have been a bit wanting. Luckily, Paris is a place my people want to visit.
What book or movie do you most associate with the American experience abroad?
I’ve always carried within me a part of the European experience throughout my life, through my summers with my grandmother in Switzerland and my mother in the U.S. But maybe Julia Child’s My Life in France, which is such a fun book. I’ve read that James Baldwin’s Notes of a Native Son is a must; I will dive into that next.
If you had to narrow it down to one, what is the greatest lesson living abroad has taught you about yourself and the world?
Adapt. Be mindful of the cultural cues and how they present themselves. Be true to yourself, but also mindful not to expect the same in a foreign city, whether it be Paris or Prague.
Have you ever considered going back? (Why or why not)
I’ve only been here for a little over two years, so no, I haven’t considered going back. Sure, it can be challenging, especially when you see how the world is unfolding, but I feel that my journey is just getting started.
For those contemplating leaving the U.S., what do you suggest they consider most about the decision?
Do a dry run. Rent a place. Sure, everyone wants to move to Paris when they’re here on vacation— it’s warm, it’s sunny, or ahhh, the leaves are starting to change, it’s brisk and sunny. Yum! A city on highlight reel. One doesn’t plan a vacation thinking, “Hmm, when is the city at its most crappy, cold, and rainy?” I was most concerned about the winter, so I rented a place here from January to the end of April. I wanted to see Paris at her worst and watch her unfurl into her best. Et voilà!
Also, brush up on your language skills and understand that we, especially Americans, have a tendency of bringing our cultural norms and expectations. If imposed, that can be rude and disrespectful.
ADDITIONAL READING
The United States experienced negative net migration in 2025, with more people leaving than arriving for the first time in 90 years (and it’s not only for political reasons). (WSJ/The Independent)
American violence is pushing families to think about leaving (NYT)
+ My essay in Issue 13 of The Bitter Southerner on this topic— releasing this month! Subscribe to get your copy.
Click here to read all previous Leaving America questionnaires. If you think a friend would enjoy The New Paris Dispatch, gift subscriptions are available here.
The show earned a Peabody Award, 2 NAACP Image Awards, and AAFCA Award for Best Documentary Series. Fabienne has also been nominated for two James Beard and IDA awards.
"Too late for what, at the end of the day?" is such a great attitude! Also, I loooooved High on the Hog-- it was such a thoughtful exploration of American history and culture through African American cuisine.
one of my favorite Parisiennes captured by another of my most favorite Parisiennes, such perfection.