As someone who grew up in San Francisco and the Bay Area, I read your article with a keen interest. The comparisons are fun and both cities are like an onion. One can keep peeling and discover new things daily. I travel to Paris often and there are many reasons I could easily live in Paris. Rather than write the obvious, the one that is rarely mentioned as to why people move to Paris and like living in Paris, is the security. I feel very safe on the metro and walking the streets at pretty much any time of the day. My personal security is something that is increasingly more important to me as I age. The crime in the US is growing at an exponential rate and the school shootings, concert shootings and mass shootings are alarming. In Paris and Europe, they have yet to experience this violence on a weekly basis. In the US, the citizens are becoming immune to these incidents.
Also about to move to Paris (for the second time!) from SF. Excited to begin again in Paris but you’ve already made me miss California’s serene redwoods, beaches, and gorgeous nature. 💚
YES TO THIS: “Leaving gave me the chance to miss all of the wonderful things I loved about my old life. It also allowed me to fall in love with a new place and discover a quality of life that I couldn’t live without now.”
Nearly two years back in the States after 9 in Paris, and it’s STILL tough for me to let go of “Sara Paris,” and answer that “but whyyyy?” question that comes from literally everyone. But ultimately I’m also happy in Brooklyn. (If it wasn’t Bklyn, it would’ve been SF btw!) Also, yes to the 5pm dinner and dining “a la terrasse” sans le fumoir!
Thank you for this beautiful essay. I just returned to San Francisco after 15 years in Aix-en-Provence. It is an adjustment, but not a struggle. SF has changed and Aix will be different when I visit. These experiences are just polaroids in moments of time. We can only hope to marvel at the images we lived and remember. Blessed.
I wonder if Paris is similar to NYC in the reality of small apartments and choice of restaurants and bars for social life vs entertaining at home. I can understand the attraction to both Paris and SF.
Pauline, this was such a generous, clear-eyed reflection — and it articulated something I’ve felt but never quite named.
That idea of returning with bifocal vision really resonated: loving Paris deeply while finally being able to see the underside of what once felt like pure magic. The way Pauline frames density, charm, nightlife, and hospitality as tensions rather than binaries feels honest and humane. Nothing is villainized; nothing is romanticized beyond recognition.
The part about hospitality especially stayed with me. How intimacy can live more easily in kitchens than in cafés. How being invited into someone’s home can create a closeness that a thousand shared meals out never quite touch. That feels like one of those quiet life upgrades you only discover by leaving.
I also appreciated the permission embedded here: that loving a place doesn’t obligate you to stay loyal to it forever. Sometimes the most respectful thing you can do with a chapter is let it remain intact — and visit.
A beautiful reminder that belonging isn’t static, and that quality of life often reveals itself only in contrast. 💛
As someone who grew up in San Francisco and the Bay Area, I read your article with a keen interest. The comparisons are fun and both cities are like an onion. One can keep peeling and discover new things daily. I travel to Paris often and there are many reasons I could easily live in Paris. Rather than write the obvious, the one that is rarely mentioned as to why people move to Paris and like living in Paris, is the security. I feel very safe on the metro and walking the streets at pretty much any time of the day. My personal security is something that is increasingly more important to me as I age. The crime in the US is growing at an exponential rate and the school shootings, concert shootings and mass shootings are alarming. In Paris and Europe, they have yet to experience this violence on a weekly basis. In the US, the citizens are becoming immune to these incidents.
I loved this
Also about to move to Paris (for the second time!) from SF. Excited to begin again in Paris but you’ve already made me miss California’s serene redwoods, beaches, and gorgeous nature. 💚
You’ll find a different type of nature nearby :) highly recommend getting familiar with Fontainebleau !
This is an intriguing read. As someone about to move to Paris, it was very helpful to read your perspective.
YES TO THIS: “Leaving gave me the chance to miss all of the wonderful things I loved about my old life. It also allowed me to fall in love with a new place and discover a quality of life that I couldn’t live without now.”
Nearly two years back in the States after 9 in Paris, and it’s STILL tough for me to let go of “Sara Paris,” and answer that “but whyyyy?” question that comes from literally everyone. But ultimately I’m also happy in Brooklyn. (If it wasn’t Bklyn, it would’ve been SF btw!) Also, yes to the 5pm dinner and dining “a la terrasse” sans le fumoir!
Chapters of life, too!
Thank you for this beautiful essay. I just returned to San Francisco after 15 years in Aix-en-Provence. It is an adjustment, but not a struggle. SF has changed and Aix will be different when I visit. These experiences are just polaroids in moments of time. We can only hope to marvel at the images we lived and remember. Blessed.
I wonder if Paris is similar to NYC in the reality of small apartments and choice of restaurants and bars for social life vs entertaining at home. I can understand the attraction to both Paris and SF.
Very much so!
Pauline, this was such a generous, clear-eyed reflection — and it articulated something I’ve felt but never quite named.
That idea of returning with bifocal vision really resonated: loving Paris deeply while finally being able to see the underside of what once felt like pure magic. The way Pauline frames density, charm, nightlife, and hospitality as tensions rather than binaries feels honest and humane. Nothing is villainized; nothing is romanticized beyond recognition.
The part about hospitality especially stayed with me. How intimacy can live more easily in kitchens than in cafés. How being invited into someone’s home can create a closeness that a thousand shared meals out never quite touch. That feels like one of those quiet life upgrades you only discover by leaving.
I also appreciated the permission embedded here: that loving a place doesn’t obligate you to stay loyal to it forever. Sometimes the most respectful thing you can do with a chapter is let it remain intact — and visit.
A beautiful reminder that belonging isn’t static, and that quality of life often reveals itself only in contrast. 💛